1 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:15,882 MARTIN Rappy Rirfday, Rasier. 2 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:24,389 Why, Eddie, you can talk. 3 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:27,192 I've always been able to talk. 4 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,696 I just save it for special occasions 5 00:00:29,731 --> 00:00:32,664 like somebody's rirfday. 6 00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:34,450 Yes, yes, Eddie, thank you very much. 7 00:00:34,485 --> 00:00:36,202 But listen, I'd like to talk about Dad. 8 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:39,104 I think his mind may be slipping. 9 00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,139 Hey, don't say stuff like that to him. 10 00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:42,675 He's a dog- he might not know you're joking. 11 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,178 Why, Dad, I didn't even know you were here. 12 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,112 Yes. 13 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,546 Well, just give me a couple more minutes 14 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,617 and I'll have your birthday breakfast all ready. 15 00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:52,720 Come on, Eddie. 16 00:00:52,755 --> 00:00:54,788 Right behind you. 17 00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,328 Oh, well, that's very nice, Dad. 18 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:03,161 Yes. 19 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,529 Oh, and look what I got. 20 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,900 A newspaper from the day you were born. 21 00:01:06,935 --> 00:01:08,301 I keep telling you to clean out 22 00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:09,803 that closet of yours. 23 00:01:09,838 --> 00:01:10,769 I ordered it. 24 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,771 Yes, well, let's just see 25 00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:16,276 what other wonders occurred on that day. 26 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:23,650 "Suspected pinko ousted from crossing guard post. " 27 00:01:23,685 --> 00:01:26,086 What a jolly world I was born in to. 28 00:01:26,121 --> 00:01:28,488 Now, I know tonight's your party... 29 00:01:28,523 --> 00:01:29,489 Oh... 30 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,224 ...but here. 31 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:32,759 Happy Birthday. 32 00:01:32,794 --> 00:01:33,911 Make a wish. 33 00:01:33,946 --> 00:01:35,028 Dad, thank you. 34 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,132 What's the matter? 35 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:40,600 My back... 36 00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:42,067 Oh. 37 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,603 ...it's completely seized up. 38 00:01:43,638 --> 00:01:44,872 Oh, okay. Well, come on. 39 00:01:44,907 --> 00:01:46,106 Now just take it easy. 40 00:01:46,141 --> 00:01:47,072 There you go. 41 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,575 Real slow. I- I... 42 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:49,810 There you go. 43 00:01:49,845 --> 00:01:51,010 Oh, my God. 44 00:01:51,511 --> 00:01:53,262 It's been a little tender lately. 45 00:01:53,297 --> 00:01:54,979 I- I went to see the doctor last week. 46 00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:57,383 He told me there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. 47 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,683 Doctors never tell you anything. 48 00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,120 They're just a bunch of overpaid quacks. 49 00:02:00,155 --> 00:02:01,455 Oh, I'm sorry. 50 00:02:01,490 --> 00:02:02,720 I don't mean you. 51 00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:05,225 I mean, I'm talking about real doctors. 52 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:07,625 How could this be happening to me? 53 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:10,163 I'm always so conscientious about back safety. 54 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,129 Why, just the other day, 55 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,166 you know, when I needed that large, heavy stack of books 56 00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,632 from down in the storage room 57 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,669 I insisted that Daphne make three trips. 58 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,403 Well, you know what, 59 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,707 I've got that old girdle in my bedroom. 60 00:02:20,742 --> 00:02:21,673 Let me go get it. 61 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,007 That should do it. Dad, please. 62 00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:24,844 I'm not wearing anything called a girdle. 63 00:02:24,879 --> 00:02:27,213 What if I called it a back brace? 64 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,948 Get it! 65 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:40,693 Daphne? 66 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,564 Good God! 67 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,269 Coming! 68 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,472 Oh! 69 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,911 This wouldn't be taking me so long 70 00:02:57,946 --> 00:03:00,813 if my housekeeper were here. 71 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:06,017 I'm a physical therapist. 72 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,321 Perhaps you could get me into a chair. 73 00:03:08,356 --> 00:03:09,220 Oh, goodness! 74 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:10,757 Is your back bothering you again? 75 00:03:10,792 --> 00:03:11,723 Thank you. Thank you, Daph. 76 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:12,759 Oh, I'm sorry I made you get up. 77 00:03:12,794 --> 00:03:14,225 I forgot my key. 78 00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,226 You know, perhaps you should get 79 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:16,728 a spare set made just to keep at Donny's. 80 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,765 For God's sake, you're practically living there as it is. 81 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,267 Oh, now, Dr. Crane, you better get used to it. 82 00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,269 Once I'm married, I willbe living there. 83 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,771 I know what'll help that back; 84 00:03:24,806 --> 00:03:25,772 a nice massage. 85 00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:26,940 Here you go. 86 00:03:26,975 --> 00:03:28,308 Oh, the girdle. 87 00:03:28,343 --> 00:03:29,610 That'll help. 88 00:03:29,645 --> 00:03:30,842 Now, listen, 89 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,343 it's kind of hard to put on by yourself, 90 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,380 but if Daphne holds one end and I hold the other 91 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,347 you can kind of spin into it. 92 00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,251 Please, Dad, this is humiliating enough as it is. 93 00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,617 What's humiliating about it? 94 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:40,653 Now, you just hook it in the back, like a bra. 95 00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,655 Just give me that! 96 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:49,596 Mr. Crane, does it bother you when I stay over at Donny's? 97 00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:50,795 No. 98 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,564 Well, it seems to bother Dr. Crane. 99 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,901 Oh, he's just cranky because of his back. 100 00:03:54,936 --> 00:03:55,867 Good Lord! 101 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,271 Queen Elizabeth had another baby. 102 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,741 I don't care what science can do. 103 00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:03,209 It's just not right. 104 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:12,116 Yes. Oh, that'll be just fine right there. 105 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:14,921 Be sure to thank the gang for the flowers, Connie. 106 00:04:14,956 --> 00:04:16,923 You're welcome, Dr. Crane. 107 00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,291 Happy Birthday. 108 00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:19,592 Birthday? 109 00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,129 Happy Birthday, Frasier. 110 00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:24,429 Thank you, Roz. 111 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:27,967 It's not off to the best start, though. 112 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,734 My back is out. 113 00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:30,468 Why don't you go home? 114 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:32,038 We'll just air The Best of Crane. 115 00:04:32,073 --> 00:04:33,306 I'll drop your gift by later. 116 00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:34,572 No, no, Roz. 117 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,573 Couldn't do that. 118 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,075 I promised my listeners 119 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,577 that I'd read a birthday address. 120 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,114 Well, uh, people might have forgotten. 121 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,617 People do have busy lives, you know? 122 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,584 No, Roz, I announced it twice. 123 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,621 Anyone paying even the slightest attention 124 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:49,887 would know. 125 00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:52,490 Say, what are you doing over there? 126 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:56,696 Just, uh, wondering when to surprise you 127 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,448 with your present! 128 00:04:58,483 --> 00:05:00,131 Oh, Roz. Oh... 129 00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,617 Guess now is as good a time as any. 130 00:05:01,652 --> 00:05:03,069 You know, we keep promising each other 131 00:05:03,104 --> 00:05:04,035 we're not going to do this. 132 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,072 We have to stop spoiling one another. 133 00:05:06,107 --> 00:05:07,340 What am I supposed to do, 134 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,574 just forget your birthday? 135 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,540 Oh... 136 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,826 Oh, good Lord, Roz. 137 00:05:10,861 --> 00:05:12,043 You know, I read 138 00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,580 the most wonderful review of this recently. 139 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:15,546 I hope you like it. 140 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,583 Oh, look, you've inscribed it. 141 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,517 I did? 142 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:22,487 "You'll always be my baby. " 143 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,458 I must have had a glass of wine when I wrote that. 144 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,459 Mm-hmm. 145 00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:28,461 "Love, Mom. " 146 00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,167 Well, there's our bent and broken birthday boy. 147 00:05:34,202 --> 00:05:35,133 Hi, Niles. 148 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:37,053 I brought you a little gift. 149 00:05:37,088 --> 00:05:38,938 Say hello to sweet salvation- 150 00:05:38,973 --> 00:05:41,272 the lumbar log. 151 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,308 Oh, thank you, Niles. 152 00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:43,641 Yes, yes. You're welcome. 153 00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,579 I think the whole thing is probably stress-related. 154 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,046 Well, that's very possible. 155 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,883 You know, birthdays can be anxiety-provoking, 156 00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:54,187 especially for people of a certain age. 157 00:05:54,222 --> 00:05:56,120 I am notofa certain age, Niles. 158 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:58,357 I am smack-dab in the middle of "not a kid anymore. " 159 00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,677 I won't be of a certain age for another ten years. 160 00:06:00,712 --> 00:06:02,962 You know, if your back pain is stress-related, 161 00:06:02,997 --> 00:06:04,429 I read a magazine article 162 00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,297 with an exercise that might help. 163 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:08,701 You just go someplace where nobody can hear you 164 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,420 and list all the things that bug you. 165 00:06:10,455 --> 00:06:12,714 And in what esteemed medical journal 166 00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,974 did you find this little tidbit,Cosmo? 167 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:17,875 No. Glamour. 168 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:20,611 Oh, that's priceless. 169 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,415 "I can't find he right shade of lipstick. 170 00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,568 "I look terrible in a bikini. 171 00:06:24,603 --> 00:06:26,686 He can't find my G-spot. " 172 00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,656 I said do it someplace private. 173 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,025 You know, it couldn't hurt, Frasier. 174 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,461 Oh, Niles, it's absurd. 175 00:06:34,496 --> 00:06:35,827 Hmm. The more you resist 176 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:38,131 the more I'm wondering if there's something 177 00:06:38,166 --> 00:06:39,465 you're trying to avoid. 178 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,018 Thanks for backing me up, Niles. 179 00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:43,478 You know, the same article said, 180 00:06:43,513 --> 00:06:44,869 "If you rub a raw potato... " 181 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,306 if we're to sell him on this, you should drop out now. 182 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,293 No one's going to sell me on anything. 183 00:06:50,328 --> 00:06:51,978 That sort of exercise only helps people 184 00:06:52,013 --> 00:06:53,479 that lack self-awareness. 185 00:06:53,514 --> 00:06:55,481 I, for one, am... 186 00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:57,815 God Almighty! 187 00:06:57,850 --> 00:06:59,985 Well, no wonder you're stressed. 188 00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,121 You've got a whole universe to run. 189 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:04,756 30 seconds, Frasier. 190 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,057 All right. I'm going to be off. 191 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,794 You take care of yourself. I'll see you tonight. 192 00:07:07,829 --> 00:07:08,593 All right. 193 00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:09,695 Are you sure you're up to this? 194 00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,662 Oh, I'll be fine, Roz. 195 00:07:11,697 --> 00:07:13,699 I'm not as delicate as all that. 196 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,335 How'd you do it, anyway? 197 00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:16,936 Blowing out a cupcake. 198 00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:20,772 You know, Frasier, 199 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:23,209 we can always put in aBest of Crane. 200 00:07:23,244 --> 00:07:24,108 No, no, Roz. 201 00:07:24,143 --> 00:07:26,446 Now just have a little bit of faith in me. 202 00:07:26,481 --> 00:07:27,814 I'm a lot tougher than that. 203 00:07:27,849 --> 00:07:29,247 I tell you what. 204 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,751 If I feel like I need help toward the end of the show, 205 00:07:31,786 --> 00:07:34,720 I'll give you a little signal, all right? 206 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,189 All right. Five seconds. 207 00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:41,627 Gosh, you know these flowers really are beautiful. 208 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:45,031 Good afternoon, Seattle. 209 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,815 Hello? Anyone here? 210 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,584 I guess they're all out. 211 00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:08,488 Okay. Well, let's just get you settled. 212 00:08:08,523 --> 00:08:09,889 Niles, Niles, slow down. 213 00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:11,355 For God's sakes, 214 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:12,891 we're not running a three-legged race. 215 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,393 Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, oh, oh. Ow. Okay. 216 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,129 Do you have somewhere to be? 217 00:08:16,164 --> 00:08:17,795 Well, since you bring it up, 218 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,332 I do actually have a luncheon with my new lady love. 219 00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:20,851 Oh, well, gosh, I'd hate to let 220 00:08:20,886 --> 00:08:22,361 my pain stand in the way of that. 221 00:08:22,396 --> 00:08:23,867 How could that orthopedist of yours 222 00:08:23,902 --> 00:08:25,303 tell me there was nothing wrong? 223 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,839 Frasier, I looked at the X rays myself. 224 00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,239 This is not a skeletal problem. 225 00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:29,675 All right, there. Now, you're all fine, 226 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,177 and I'm sure Dad will be by soon. 227 00:08:31,212 --> 00:08:32,910 No, wait. 228 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:35,798 This couch has absolutely no support. 229 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,651 Let's try the chair over there, please? 230 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,051 All right. 231 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,837 You're not heavy. 232 00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:43,589 You're my brother. 233 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,958 Ow! Ow! 234 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:49,245 God, how could you even take me to that unprofessional hack? 235 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,389 All he did was give me a bottle full of horse tranquilizers. 236 00:08:51,424 --> 00:08:53,499 He didn't care about getting to the root of the problem. 237 00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,466 He just wanted to shut me up. 238 00:08:55,501 --> 00:09:00,006 I think it might be time for one of those pills. 239 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:06,012 All comfy? 240 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,549 Niles, uh, this won't do. 241 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,485 It's even harder than a seat on a public bus. 242 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,152 Oh, when were you ever on a bus? 243 00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:18,324 At a cocktail party once, for "The Friends of Transit. " 244 00:09:18,359 --> 00:09:20,558 I wasn't invited to that. 245 00:09:20,593 --> 00:09:22,461 Will you just help me up, for God's sake?! 246 00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:24,330 All right, all right. Hold on, hold on. 247 00:09:24,365 --> 00:09:25,849 Ow. Oh. Ow. Okay? 248 00:09:25,884 --> 00:09:27,359 Ow. Ow. Ow. Shh, shh. 249 00:09:27,394 --> 00:09:28,799 Ow, God, you know, 250 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,836 maybe I should take another one of those pills. 251 00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,136 All right. All right. 252 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:33,506 I'll get you a glass of water, okay? 253 00:09:33,541 --> 00:09:34,972 All right. Let go, let go. 254 00:09:35,007 --> 00:09:38,511 You know, things really are going well with Mel. 255 00:09:38,546 --> 00:09:40,980 I've been out with her almost every night. 256 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,480 I don't want to jinx things, 257 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:43,981 but I daresay we're well on our way 258 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:48,521 to becoming what might almost pass for an item. 259 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:54,243 I mean it, Frasier, 260 00:09:54,278 --> 00:09:55,962 she was just the... 261 00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:00,649 Oh, my God! 262 00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,134 Did you fall? 263 00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,100 No. 264 00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:06,405 No, I'm actually quite comfortable, Niles. 265 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,672 Look... 266 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,508 there's no glare on the television 267 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:14,780 and here's a lovely place to set your drink. 268 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:15,615 Just give me your hand 269 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,117 and whatever the chair's telling you, don't listen. 270 00:10:18,152 --> 00:10:18,983 No, Niles, no. 271 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,319 It's helping my back, actually, you know, 272 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:24,790 and when you sit in it, you don't have to look at it. 273 00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,425 If you're really interested 274 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,462 in correcting this problem and not just medicating it, 275 00:10:29,497 --> 00:10:31,464 you should consider that technique Roz mentioned- 276 00:10:31,499 --> 00:10:32,732 listing your problems aloud. 277 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,031 Oh, give me a break. 278 00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:35,466 Well, it's perfectly possible 279 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,870 this is connected to some submerged anxiety. 280 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:38,738 What's bothering you? 281 00:10:38,773 --> 00:10:39,704 Oh, yes, Niles. 282 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:41,205 Do you really expect me 283 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,491 to sit here all alone in this apartment 284 00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:43,743 prattling on endlessly about my problems 285 00:10:43,778 --> 00:10:45,076 like some sort of a lunatic? 286 00:10:45,111 --> 00:10:46,444 If you think I'm going to do that, 287 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,815 you're the one that needs to get his head examined. 288 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,654 Oh,oh,good God! 289 00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:55,620 Oh, Eddie. 290 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,121 Please, just shoo. 291 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,158 Get off of me, get off of me. 292 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,432 What? 293 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,202 Oh, do you want to know 294 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,902 what's bothering me, too? 295 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:13,704 All right, well, here's a start. 296 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:18,110 I'm talking to a dog- that bothers me. 297 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,796 I'm another year older today. 298 00:11:19,831 --> 00:11:21,447 I suppose that bothers me. 299 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,786 Though not as much as people seem to think. 300 00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:33,976 I'm still single. 301 00:11:34,011 --> 00:11:36,661 That's a big one... 302 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:40,665 not having a woman to share my life with. 303 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:44,637 The only women in my life are friends- Roz and Daphne. 304 00:11:44,672 --> 00:11:46,572 Daphne's not even here anymore. 305 00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:48,039 She'll be married soon. 306 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,509 That's going to be tough on Dad. 307 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,910 Who am I kidding? 308 00:11:52,945 --> 00:11:56,365 It's going to be tough on me. 309 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,750 It's been nice having her here. 310 00:11:59,785 --> 00:12:01,952 Even when my love life isn't going so well, 311 00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:06,726 I can always come home to a... a warm and considerate woman. 312 00:12:06,761 --> 00:12:09,079 You know, that's- that's probably why 313 00:12:09,114 --> 00:12:11,397 I've been so brusque with her lately. 314 00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:14,334 I know that once she's gone... 315 00:12:14,369 --> 00:12:17,236 I'll probably be twice as lonely. 316 00:12:19,205 --> 00:12:21,205 Well... 317 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,442 it's quite a realization, isn't it? 318 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:26,645 I really do loveDaphne... 319 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:33,851 ...and, now, I'm about to lose her. 320 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,888 I've got to show her how I feel about her 321 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,790 while I still have a chance. 322 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,562 Well, I don't know 323 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,099 if it was the therapy or the-the painkillers, 324 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,602 but I actually feel a bit better. 325 00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:50,603 Let's try this. 326 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,105 Ah... 327 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,110 You know, there are subtler ways 328 00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,913 to let the patient know his hour is up. 329 00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,548 Oh! 330 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:07,319 Dr. Crane, I didn't know you were here. 331 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,454 Daphne. Can't hear anything 332 00:13:08,489 --> 00:13:09,787 in that shower of mine. 333 00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:11,857 It's like a soundproof vault. 334 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,858 Daphne, I-I wanted to apologize 335 00:13:13,893 --> 00:13:16,695 for being so short with you this morning. 336 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:17,747 Oh, it's fine. 337 00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:18,907 No, it's not. 338 00:13:18,942 --> 00:13:19,997 It's never fine. 339 00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,801 Listen, come here, please. 340 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,075 Give me a hug. 341 00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,878 Oh, Daphne... 342 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,081 do you know how much you mean to me? 343 00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,983 I'm getting an idea. 344 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,826 Hey, Daph. 345 00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,062 What's wrong? 346 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,162 You all right? 347 00:13:51,197 --> 00:13:53,097 Well, actually, no. 348 00:13:53,132 --> 00:13:57,136 I overheard something I wasn't supposed to hear. 349 00:13:57,171 --> 00:14:00,072 It's about Dr. Crane. 350 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:04,043 I overhead him say he's in love with me. 351 00:14:04,078 --> 00:14:05,509 What? 352 00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:08,047 Yeah, and he wants to show me how much he loves me 353 00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:09,415 while he still has the chance. 354 00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:11,417 Oh, geez, notthis. 355 00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,350 You knew about this? 356 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:15,054 I'm not getting in the middle of this. 357 00:14:15,089 --> 00:14:16,253 Then it's true. 358 00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:17,790 Look, I kept my mouth shut for six years. 359 00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,226 I'm not saying anything now. 360 00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:21,759 Six years?! 361 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,796 He's felt this way for six years? 362 00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:25,231 You didn't hear that from me. 363 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:27,733 Daphne... 364 00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:32,071 Daphne, I... can't lower myself into the tub. 365 00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:34,271 Well, don't look at me. 366 00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:35,706 No, I thought I'd skip the bath 367 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:37,743 and take you up on that massage you offered. 368 00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:39,210 Those expert hands of yours 369 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:41,697 might be just what the doctor ordered. 370 00:14:41,732 --> 00:14:44,149 Let's do it in my bedroom, shall we? 371 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,525 Oh. 372 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,511 What kept you? 373 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:56,427 Daphne, here, 374 00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,614 just help me out of this robe, please. 375 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:00,766 I nearly killed myself putting it on. 376 00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:11,176 All right. 377 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,749 Here we go. 378 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,152 Now... 379 00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:26,659 remember, your back's very tender. 380 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:29,662 So... no sudden movements. 381 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,805 Oh. 382 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:44,209 You know, I'm catching a draft in this robe. 383 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,145 Perhaps I better change. 384 00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:47,646 I'll be waiting. 385 00:15:54,153 --> 00:15:55,387 Hey, Fras... 386 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:56,587 Yes, Dad? 387 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,990 Did Daphne tell you? 388 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:58,956 Tell me what? 389 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,393 She found out Niles has a thing for her. 390 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,127 What? Yes. How? 391 00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:05,064 Well, she said she overheard him earlier 392 00:16:05,099 --> 00:16:06,065 saying how much he loves her. 393 00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,031 Oh, dear God. 394 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:09,068 No wonder she's been so distracted. 395 00:16:09,103 --> 00:16:10,336 And what did you say? 396 00:16:10,371 --> 00:16:11,535 Did you confirm it? 397 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,439 Well, yes, I said I knew about it. 398 00:16:13,474 --> 00:16:14,238 Oh, Dad... 399 00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,741 Well, come on, what else was I going to say? 400 00:16:15,776 --> 00:16:17,209 Then I told her it was none of my business, 401 00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:19,044 and I took off out of there. 402 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,879 Wait a minute. 403 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:24,917 How did she even see Niles today? 404 00:16:24,952 --> 00:16:26,383 I don't know, but she said 405 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,885 she overheard him saying he loves her 406 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,389 and that he wanted to tell her while he still has a chance. 407 00:16:31,357 --> 00:16:33,092 Oh, no. 408 00:16:33,127 --> 00:16:34,792 What? 409 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,195 I said that. 410 00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:37,528 Oh, notyounow. 411 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:40,364 No, no, no, Dad, not that. 412 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,735 I was just doing a little exercise to try to help my back, 413 00:16:42,770 --> 00:16:44,201 and I was talking out loud 414 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,405 about how much I was going to miss Daphne. 415 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,574 She must have overheard me and misunderstood. 416 00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:50,242 Who were you talking to? 417 00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:57,483 If you must know, I was talking to Eddie. 418 00:16:58,384 --> 00:17:00,319 Helps, doesn't it? 419 00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,288 Oh, stop it. 420 00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:04,188 Thanks to you, 421 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,175 now Daphne thinks I'm in love with her, 422 00:17:06,210 --> 00:17:08,136 and here I am asking her for a massage. 423 00:17:08,171 --> 00:17:10,062 How is she expected to interpretthat? 424 00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,465 Hard to say. 425 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,734 Huh? 426 00:17:14,769 --> 00:17:15,933 Oh, boy. 427 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:17,970 Just take a deep breath and try to relax. 428 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:18,936 Daphne... 429 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,973 Let's both do that, shall we? 430 00:17:21,008 --> 00:17:21,839 Daphne... 431 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,809 Dad told me that you overheard me. 432 00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:24,944 He did? 433 00:17:24,979 --> 00:17:26,010 Yes. 434 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:26,879 Well, I certainly picked 435 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,380 the wrong person to confide in. 436 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,613 No, no, no. 437 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:30,914 I- I'm glad he told me 438 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:33,917 because the truth is you misunderstood. 439 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:36,955 You see, when I said how much I cared about you, 440 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,425 I didn't mean it in a romantic sense. 441 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:41,692 Then you don't love me? 442 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,096 Oh, no, of course, I love you, Daphne, 443 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,432 but... as a friend, that's all. 444 00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:47,197 Oh... 445 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,050 Oh, thank God! 446 00:17:49,085 --> 00:17:50,834 Oh, what a relief! 447 00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:53,338 I mean, I was flattered, but,oh... yes, yes, all right. 448 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:54,740 All right, okay, fine, fine, Daphne. 449 00:17:54,775 --> 00:17:56,241 That's fine. Off you go. 450 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,510 Go ahead. 451 00:17:57,545 --> 00:17:58,709 Oh... 452 00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,210 Oh, my, my head. 453 00:18:00,245 --> 00:18:01,645 Oh, it must be those pills. 454 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,682 Come on, let me give you that massage 455 00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:05,184 while you can still feel it. 456 00:18:05,219 --> 00:18:06,202 All right. 457 00:18:06,237 --> 00:18:07,186 Come on, then. 458 00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:08,687 Well... 459 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:12,191 Oh, dear... 460 00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:16,527 You know, Daph, 461 00:18:16,562 --> 00:18:19,431 we really are going to miss you around here. 462 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,350 Oh, it's going to be hard for me, too. 463 00:18:21,385 --> 00:18:23,235 It's something I haven't even wanted 464 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,701 to think about, leaving. 465 00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:28,607 I know I grumble a bit, but... 466 00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:31,310 I do love you and your father. 467 00:18:31,345 --> 00:18:33,979 I'll still come around, though. 468 00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:36,482 We'll all see each other. 469 00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:37,448 You know what? 470 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:39,318 What's that, Dr. Crane? 471 00:18:39,353 --> 00:18:40,984 Dad's chair. 472 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:45,824 I'm not taking it with me, if that's where you're headed. 473 00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:48,559 It feltcomfortable. 474 00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:52,364 You took quite a few of those pills, didn't you? 475 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,467 You know what's curious, though? 476 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,836 Cats? 477 00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:01,240 Yes... 478 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:07,611 But I'm talking about our little mix-up. 479 00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:12,017 When I said to your father, "Dr. Crane's in love with me," 480 00:19:12,052 --> 00:19:15,053 he said it's been going on for six years now. 481 00:19:15,088 --> 00:19:16,989 What did he mean by that? 482 00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,889 Oh, that. 483 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,827 He meant Niles. 484 00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,063 What? 485 00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,330 Niles. 486 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,901 He's crazy about you. 487 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,672 Dr. Crane? 488 00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:36,975 Dr. Crane... 489 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,651 MARTIN Come on, rirfday boy. 490 00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,570 Wakey, wakey. 491 00:19:47,605 --> 00:19:49,454 Time for cakey. 492 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,421 Dear God, 493 00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:54,459 has a year passed already? 494 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:58,079 Please, the elastic's pinching behind my ears. 495 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,365 Oh, come on, it's just for a couple of hours. 496 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,331 But it's pulling my hair. 497 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,368 Well, you don't hear Eddie complaining, do you? 498 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,336 I ruv my hat. 499 00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:07,838 You know, I'm this close 500 00:20:07,873 --> 00:20:10,375 to breaking that thing into a million pieces. 501 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,144 Well, isn't this festive? 502 00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:13,763 Oh, Daphne, by the way, 503 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:15,312 thank you for the massage. 504 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:16,381 I think it did just the trick. 505 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,382 Anytime, Dr. Crane. 506 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,615 Listen, uh... 507 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,684 just before I drifted off, 508 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,987 I- I'm afraid I might have said something 509 00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,855 I wish I hadn't. 510 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,989 Yes? 511 00:20:26,024 --> 00:20:28,692 It's about Dad's chair. 512 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,527 I mean, it may be comfortable, 513 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,998 but I still want to get it out of here. 514 00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:34,900 Oh,that. Right. 515 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,266 Why? 516 00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:39,204 I didn't say anything else I shouldn't have said, did I? 517 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,107 Well, um... 518 00:20:42,142 --> 00:20:43,440 no. 519 00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:44,910 Ah. No, no... 520 00:20:44,945 --> 00:20:46,362 and don't worry. 521 00:20:46,397 --> 00:20:47,779 Mum's the word. 522 00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,315 I'll get it. 523 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:51,748 Thank you. 524 00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,352 You straighten things out with Daphne? 525 00:20:53,387 --> 00:20:54,184 Yes, I did. 526 00:20:54,219 --> 00:20:55,604 Boy, that was a close one. 527 00:20:55,639 --> 00:20:56,954 I almost blew Niles' secret. 528 00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,322 In the future, will you try to be more discreet? 529 00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:00,759 I can't pull your chestnuts out of the fire every time. 530 00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:03,128 Good evening, Daphne. 531 00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:06,096 Dr. Crane. 532 00:21:06,131 --> 00:21:07,598 You look different somehow. 533 00:21:07,633 --> 00:21:10,502 Have you done something new with your hair? 534 00:21:11,903 --> 00:21:12,821 Oh. 535 00:21:12,856 --> 00:21:13,704 Oh... 536 00:21:13,739 --> 00:21:14,706 That must be it. 537 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:15,708 Well, hello. 538 00:21:15,743 --> 00:21:16,640 Niles. 539 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:18,141 Feeling better? 540 00:21:18,176 --> 00:21:20,628 I'm feeling much better, thank you. 541 00:21:20,663 --> 00:21:23,081 Oh, that must be a present for me. 542 00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:28,654 d Hey, baby, I hear the blues a'callin'd 543 00:21:28,689 --> 00:21:31,657 d Tossed salads and scrambled eggs d 544 00:21:31,692 --> 00:21:33,123 d Mercy d 545 00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:35,694 d And maybe I seem a bit confused d 546 00:21:35,729 --> 00:21:38,230 d Well, maybe, but I got you pegged d 547 00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:41,698 d But I don't know what to do d 548 00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:46,371 d With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs d 549 00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,073 d They're callin' again. d 550 00:21:48,108 --> 00:21:50,642 Thank you!